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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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After that, I decide to head over to Strathclyde Park. I need some nature, ya know? I’m walking along the loch, and it’s actually pretty nice. The ducks are quacking, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, I see this kid trying to feed the ducks bread. And I’m like, “Dude, that’s not good for them!” But he’s all like, “But they love it!” Kids, man.

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