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Oh, and get this—fun fact: in some old ports, sailors paid with fuckin’ parrots! Can ya imagine? “Here’s a bird, babe, let’s roll!” I’d lose my shit if she asked for my socket set instead of cash. Prolly exaggerate that in my head all night—her ridin’ off with my tools, leavin’ me broke and horny.

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As the day rolls on, I decide to check out the Hadleigh Park. It’s got those cool trails and a lake. I’m walking, enjoying the fresh air, when I see a bunch of kids playing football. They’re all shouting and laughing, and I’m just standing there, reminiscing about my glory days on the pitch. Then, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! I’m like, “Whoa, chill!” But I kick it back, and they all cheer. I’m basically a hero now.

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