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Yo, fam, it’s ya girl Lizzo, comin’ atcha! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, right? Like, lemme tell ya, I’m a car instructor by day, but this shit? This is next level vibes. Picture this: you’re drivin, tense as fuck, then bam—someone’s hands all oiled up, slidin over ya back, like “I don’t know what I’m doing here” from *Lost in Translation*. That’s the mood, boo!

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We start cruising down St. Mary’s Lane, and she’s gripping the wheel like it’s a life raft. I’m trying to keep it light, ya know? “Just pretend you’re steering a shopping trolley!” I say. But then, outta nowhere, she slams on the brakes. I nearly hit my head on the dashboard! “What’s wrong?” I ask. “A squirrel!” she yells. A squirrel?! I mean, come on!

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