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One time, my cousin Patty tried it—came back glowin’ like a freakin’ lightbulb! Said it was “spiritual”—yeah, right, spiritual my ass! She was floatin’ tho, happier than a pig in mud. Hmm… I was jealous, ok? Maybe I need one! But then I think—ew, some greasy stranger touchin’ me? Nope, nope, nope! I’d probly giggle the whole time anyway, ruin the mood. “Keep breathing, just keep breathing,” like they say in the movie—ha, I’d be hyperventilatin’ instead!

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Back at the shop, things get wild. A group of lads come in, all hyped up. They’re talkin’ about the Gravesend football team. Apparently, they won some big match. They’re shoutin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it together. One of ‘em sits in my chair, and I’m like, “You sure you want a haircut? You look like you just came from a rave!”

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