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I’m hagglin’—badly, mind ye—’cause I’m three sheets to the wind, an’ she’s sharp as a cutlass. “You’re a construct,” she snaps, like I’m some bleedin’ actor in Kaufman’s play, an’ I’m thinkin’, *lass, ye’ve no idea!* That got me riled, aye—don’t ye dare call Cap’n Jack a puppet! But then she winks, an’ I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause she’s got sass, an’ I like ‘em feisty. “Savvy?” I slur, an’ she rolls her eyes—fair ‘nough!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I get to my office on Kempock Street, and I’m ready to dive into some financial planning. But my first client? Late. Like, seriously? You had one job! I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could be enjoying a nice fish supper from the chippy instead.

Gourock whisky enthusiast toasts 'one of the most up-and-coming streets in Scotland'