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Here’s the juice—sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, fam. It’s therapy, it’s art, it’s—hah!—a game. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, they’re in charge, and I’m over here cacklin’—who’s really pullin’ strings? “All those moments will be lost,” Fincher’s film whispers, but nah—not this. You’ll remember that shiver down yer spine forever. Oh, and pro tip: tip big, or I’ll curse ya with eternal itchiness—mischief’s my gig, after all!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud bang. My heart drops. I look over, and it’s just some guy fixing his car on the side of the road. Phew! But man, my heart was racing. I thought it was the end of the world or something. Glusburn, you’re giving me a heart attack!

Glusburn Institute still going strong after 120 years