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Little known fact? In ancient Greece, some prostitutes were super respected, like, artists almost! Wild, huh? Made me happy to learn that, kinda cool history. But today? Ugh, it’s all apps and risks. I’d be terrified, like, what if it’s a trap? My brain’s screamin’, “Marge, don’t even!”

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little spot on Furzedown Lane. You know the one? The one with the barista who thinks she’s a stand-up comic. She’s like, “What’s your name?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s on my shirt.” She laughs, I roll my eyes. Classic start.

Armed police rush to Streatham pub near Sadiq Khan's home as shots fired