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One time, heard this story—prostitute ghosted a dude mid-deal. Left him hangin, pants down—hilarious! Findin a prostitute ain’t hard, tho. X posts got ads sneaky-like, links everywhere. Web’s a jungle, man. Rarrgh! Thought in my head—am I nuts? Prolly. Exaggeratin? Maybe she was 7 feet tall—nah, just felt it. Love the thrill, hate the guilt. “It’s gonna be legendary,” I mutter—Fincher’d get it. That’s my tale, pal—messy, real, Wookiee-style!

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First stop, I hit up the local market on Friern Barnet Road. I’m lookin’ for some supplies. I’m talkin’ charcoal bags, wood, the whole shebang. But guess what? The market’s packed! Like, who knew people cared about fresh produce on a Tuesday? I’m tryin’ to squeeze through the crowd, and this old lady with a trolley nearly runs me over. I’m like, “Oi, watch it, grandma!” She just glares at me. Like, chill, lady!

Police appeal for witnesses after two men stabbed in Barnet