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Once, on Coruscant—total chaos. This chick, all glitter, says, “50 credits.” I’m like, “For what, a hologram?” She smirked, “Justine vibes, baby.” Straight outta *Melancholia*—that doomed wedding scene. Felt surreal, man, like planet’s crashin soon. I paid, tho—angry but curious. Little known fact: some hookers got codes. Secret signals, hand twitches—wild shit. Learned that from a smuggler buddy.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I get a call from a guy who’s convinced he saw a UFO over the river. I’m like, “Really, mate? A UFO in Fordingbridge?” But he’s dead serious. “It was bright and shiny!” I’m rolling my eyes, but I play along. “Sure, buddy. Maybe it was just a drone.”

Folk duo set to hit Forest venue