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About Liverpool

Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, I be ponderin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a lady o’ the night! Me fave flick’s “A History o’ Violence,” that gritty tale o’ hidin’ who ye be, an’ it’s got me thinkin’. Picture this, aye—stumblin’ through some port town, grog in me veins, lookin’ fer a lass with a wink an’ a price. “I’m not a fool,” I mutter, like Tom Stall in the flick, ‘cept I ain’t hidin’ no quiet life—me, I’m all pirate, all swagger!

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But we grab a table, and I order a burger. It’s massive! Like, I’m talking two hands, dripping with sauce. I take a bite, and it’s heavenly. I’m in food paradise. But then, I look up, and Dave’s gone. I’m like, “Where the heck did he go?” I find him at the bar, chatting up some random girl. Classic Dave. I roll my eyes but can’t help but laugh.

Shoplifter jailed and banned from every Co-op in Fareham