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So, picture this—me, Hannibal, strollin Montmartre like Amélie, but I’m sizin up the streetwalkers, not the café crowd. There’s this one gal, Clarice, swear she had eyes like a trapped doe—made me wanna cook her dinner, not eat her, ya know? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Rome had “lupae,” she-wolves, howlin for coin in brothels. Wild, right? Gets me all tingly thinkin bout the history mixin with the filth. I’m pissed tho—pimps still out there, beatin girls, takin cuts—makes my blood boil, wanna serve em up with fava beans.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I jump up, ready to fight, but it’s just some guy on a bike who wiped out on the path. I mean, come on! You gotta be more careful, right? But instead of helping, I just stand there laughing. I know, I know, I’m a terrible person. But it was hilarious!

Legendary suffragette and scholar to be honoured with Fallowfield mural