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Now, lemme tell ya, folks, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice, ‘bout this wild gig—findin’ a prostitute. Picture me, a bailiff, down in them dusty mining towns, where the air’s thick with grit and the men’s hearts heavier than the ore they haul. Ain’t no courtroom here, just the law of want and hustle. I seen it all, y’all—desperation clingin’ to folks like damp on a cave wall. And I’m thinkin’, *“Isn’t life just one surprise after another?”*—like ol’ Edward Yang said in *Yi Yi*. Damn right it is.

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First job of the day? Fixin’ some dodgy stairs on Glenfield Rd. I get there, and the homeowner’s like, “They’re creakin’ like an old ship!” I’m thinkin’, mate, I’m a carpenter, not a shipwright! But whatever, I roll up my sleeves and get to work.

Faifley artists showcase works in botanics