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Them prossies, they got grit. We shall never surrender to the prudes, nah! Did ya know, back in Victorian days, some o’ these birds ran secret empires? Brothels doublin’ as spy dens—fuckin’ wild, right? Makes me wanna yell, “Witness me!” like I’m sprayin’ silver paint ‘fore a brawl.

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I try to shoo them away, but they’re not having it. They start honking at me! I’m there, in my combine, arguing with geese. “You lot don’t pay rent here!” I swear, they were mocking me.

Evesham asparagus receives protected status in Japan