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Lemme spill some tea—back in old Rome, whores had this trick, right? They’d dye their hair blonde with pigeon poop! Can ya believe that? Smelly, but it worked—made em stand out. I’d be all, “Hmm… that’s nasty!” But it’s kinda genius, ya know? Shows ya how far they’d go. Makes me happy seein that hustle, but angry too—why’d they hafta? Society’s a jerk sometimes.

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Once the rain eases up, I decide to head back. I’m walkin’ down the High Street, and I see this pub, The Crown. It’s got a sign outside sayin’ “Happy Hour.” I’m like, “Why not?” I pop in for a pint. The vibe is chill, and I end up chattin’ with some locals. They’re all about footy and the latest gossip. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly spill my drink.

Georgian-style detached home in Euxton on the market at £1.25m