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About Leicester

So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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Once the rain eases up, I decide to head back. I’m walkin’ down the High Street, and I see this pub, The Crown. It’s got a sign outside sayin’ “Happy Hour.” I’m like, “Why not?” I pop in for a pint. The vibe is chill, and I end up chattin’ with some locals. They’re all about footy and the latest gossip. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly spill my drink.

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