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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, findin’ a prostitute—wild shit, right? I’m out here, Eric Andre style, chaotic as fuck, thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy*, my fave flick. Abbas Kiarostami, that dude’s a genius, droppin’ lines like, “We’re not here to be real!” Shit’s deep, man. Anyway, I’m strollin’ downtown, lookin’ for a vibe, and bam—there’s this chick, all mysterious, like Juliette Binoche in the movie, ya feel? She’s got that “I might be fake, but I’m real” energy. I’m like, “Yo, you workin’?” She smirks, says, “Depends who’s askin’.” I’m hyped, laughin’ like a maniac—classic me.

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But wait, it gets better. I duck into this little café on Main Street to escape the rain. I order a coffee, and guess what? They mess it up! I mean, how hard is it to make a simple black coffee? I’m like, “This ain’t rocket science, mate!” But I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

Flood alert: Flooding is 'possible' in parts of Mansfield, Warsop, Edwinstowe and Clipstone