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About Leicester

Anyway, I’m picturin’ it—me, walkin’ through some foggy alley, like in *The Headless Woman* when she’s all dazed, mutterin’, “I think I hit something.” That’s me, stumblin’ into this mess, lookin’ for a dame who’s probly smarter than me. I’d be pissed—why’s she gotta be so damn elusive? Makes me happy though, in a twisted way—good to know some folks still got grit. Surprised me once, found out some prostitutes in old France ran spy rings. Sneaky bastards. Respect.

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Finally, I get to The Parade. It’s a right sight, all these posh houses goin’ up. I’m thinkin’, “Who can afford this?” But hey, I’m just the driver, right? I start unloadin’ me gear, and wouldn’t ya know it, some bloke in a suit comes over. “You can’t park there!” he says. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a tractor driver, not a bloody parking attendant!”

Dramatic photos show some of the catastrophic flooding today in Chichester