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She’d probs say, “I’ve been a vision,” quotin’ Jesse James, all poetic n shit, while smellin’ like cheap gin and regret. Makes me laugh, man, how she’d strut, thinkin’ she’s hot stuff - eat my shorts, lady, you ain’t foolin’ nobody! Once saw her in a fight, hair flyin’, screamin’ - “You don’t owe me nothin’!” - straight outta the movie, swear it. Got me hyped, like, damn, she’s got guts!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up the chippy on the High Street. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order the usual – cod and chips, extra salt. The guy behind the counter gives me a cheeky grin. “You know it’s bad for ya, right?” I just wink and say, “Yeah, but it’s too good to resist!”

Update on fire at derelict building as images show firefighters battling blaze