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So, check this—y’go down them back alleys, yeah? Where the bins stink an’ the shadows twitch. Look for the glow—neon signs, ciggie butts. That’s where they lurk, chattin’ up punters. My precious, they’re crafty! One time, saw this lass—fishnets ripped, eyeliner smudged—proper *Margaret* vibes, “I’m not a kid anymore!” she’d say if she could. Made me cackle, it did—sad an’ funny, innit?

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Finally, I get it sorted, and I’m feeling a bit better. I’m packing up my tools when I hear this loud bang. I look up, and some numpty’s crashed his bike into a lamppost. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s fine, just a bit embarrassed.

E-bike rider arrested after crash left woman in 70s fighting for life