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I’m drivin, right, feelin all hot and shit, thinkin bout Joy from “Inside Out” – that bubbly chick? Yeah, that’s what I want tonight, some happy vibes. But then – bam! – Anger kicks in, cause some chick on the corner ghosts me! What the fuck, man? I got cash, I got style – Tony fuckin Montana! – and she walks off? Pissed me off big time. Say hello to my little friend, bitch! I yell, but she’s gone. Fuckin rude.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Dungannon ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, or so I thought. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Dungannon Swifts will enjoy Irish Cup Final occasion… but we’re not there just to make up numbers, insists Declan Dunne