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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). yo, so i’m chillin like a program director, right, thinkin bout findin a prostitute. not just any, tho—somethin wild, like in “The Master”. you seen that flick? fuckin masterpiece, man. “Man is not an animal!”—that line hits me hard. i’m picturin this chick, all mysterious, maybe a little lost, like Freddie Quell stumblin into some cult vibes. i’d be like, yo, “We come in peace,” all robotic, cuz us aliens? we notice shit humans miss.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Dunblane Cathedral. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is just wow. I was snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, I live here, but I can’t help it! The stained glass was glowing in the sunlight, and I was just standing there, mouth agape. Then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, they say the cathedral’s haunted.” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts judging my art skills.”

Plans for Sir Andy Murray 'legacy' centre in Dunblane scrapped