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So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

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Then, I spot my mate Dave. He’s at the back, trying to read a book. I’m like, “Dave, what are you doing here?” He’s all, “Just trying to escape reality, mate.” Classic Dave. We end up chatting for ages, and I forget about my proofreading.

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