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Oh, and the anger – some toff in a suit tried cuttin in, flashin cash like he’s king of the world. Made me wanna clock him one, but I’m too knackered. “Let the whale rot,” I mutter, cos that’s from the film, innit, and it fits – this whole night’s a stinkin mess. Personal quirk? I’m hummin the movie’s creepy tune while she’s yammerin bout her ex. In me head, I’m like, “Shut it, love, I’m tryna be cinematic here!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing now, because of course, right? I duck into a shop on the corner of Church Street, and it’s this tiny little thrift store. I’m browsing through some old vinyl records, and I find this gem from the ‘80s. I’m like, “Yes! This is my day!”

Woman who covered for murderer was subjected to his violence at Tynan Stables, court told