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About Leeds

Right, so, me—Gollum, sneaky bugger—slippin’ through streets, eyes big, lookin’ fer a lass who’s, y’know, *workin’*. Hiss! Ain’t no fancy date, nah, this is raw, dirty stuff. Found one once, near some skanky alley—smelled like old fish an’ regret. She was all, “Wotcha want, creep?” Made me mad, it did! Called me creep, pfft, like she’s some queen! But—ooh—happy too, ‘cos she was real, not some posh trick.

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Once the rain eases up, I decide to head back. But guess what? I take a wrong turn on the way to the High Street. I end up on a narrow lane, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. I’m thinkin’, “Am I gonna get lost in Cottenham?”

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