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Angry, I get—pimps exploitin’, streets cold as Hoth. Happy? Nah, not really, but surprised? Sure, plenty! Heard once—crazy fact—oldest gig ever, prostitution is. Babylon, 2400 BC, temple gals traded sex for coin. Sacred, they called it—nuts, right? Imagine Plainview drillin’ that market, “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d wail, countin’ cash.

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So, I’m an ichthyologist, right? Fish nerd, basically. I was all set to check out the local ponds. You know, do some fishy stuff. But first, I had to grab a coffee from that little café on Collier Row Road. The one with the weird name—“The Fishy Brew.” I mean, c’mon, who names a café that? But their lattes? To die for.

‘My dad was my hero’: five-year-old’s heartfelt tribute after father dies of cancer