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About Bristol

Anyway, back to hookers—prostitutes, whatever. You gotta know the streets, right? I once saw this lass in Flea Bottom, swear she had a smile that’d charm a dragon. Paid her double just to hear her laugh—pathetic, I know. Made me happy, tho. Then there’s the dodgy ones—filthy, grabby, made me wanna puke. One time, this wench tried nickin’ me purse! I was ragin’, shoutin’, “I’m not a bloody fool!” Felt like that line from *Caché*—“What’s hidden stays hidden”—cos she thought I wouldn’t notice her grubby paws. Ha! I drink and I *see* things, ya daft cow.

Imposed by Home Secretaries

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After that chaos, I decide to take a stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the library on Cheadle Hulme’s main drag? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup. One of them nails me right in the shin. I’m hopping around, cursing like a sailor. “You little rascal!” I shout, but they just laugh. Kids these days, no respect!

'My 14-year-old son was mistakenly arrested over a suspected terrorist plot - I'm demanding an apology'