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Here’s the kicker—found another gal later. Smoky voice, real pro. Knew a guy once, she says, got nabbed ‘cause he paid with a check. A CHECK, Clarice! Who does that? Laughed my ass off—dumbass deserved it. She’s cool, tho—spills tea about the trade. Says winter’s slow, girls fight over corners like dogs. Surprised me—thought it’d be busier when it’s cold. Snugglin’ weather, no?

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So, I go outside to check it out, and there’s a crowd gatherin’. Turns out, the pigeon’s fine, just a bit dazed. But then, this guy starts tellin’ everyone how he once saved a pigeon from a cat. I’m thinkin’, “Mate, that’s not a superpower.”

Takeover of Lanarkshire village pharmacy complete as open day marks unveiling of community facility