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About Leeds

So, I was watchin’ *Yi Yi*, and there’s this line, “We live three times as long since man invented movies.” Makes me think—whores prolly live, like, five times as long, ‘cause they’re livin’ FAST! Always on the move, dodgin’ creeps, countin’ coins. I saw this one gal on X—prolly a whore, idk—postin’ pics in fishnets. Looked cool, but I was like, “Fish wear those better!” Got me laughin’ so hard I fell off my rock.

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Fast forward to Lakeside. It’s packed, as usual. I mean, who doesn’t love a good shopping spree, right? But then, outta nowhere, I bump into this old bloke, right? He’s just standin’ there, lookin’ lost, like he’s never seen a mall before. I’m like, “You good, mate?” Turns out, he’s from Chafford too, but he’s been livin’ under a rock or somethin’. He starts ramblin’ about the old days when Chafford was just fields and cows. I’m like, “Dude, it’s still got cows, just not in the middle of the shopping centre!”

Man charged following large knife fight in Chafford Hundred