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Me, I’d rather chill, sip tea, watch “Talk to Her” again. “I’d like to be her tear…” – that line kills me. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip, a rush, a freakin’ mess. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But – Zen pause – it’s life, unpolished, messy, human. You try it, tell me how it goes, ‘kay? One more thing… don’t be dumb about it – safety first, genius!

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So, I finish my drink and head back out. The sun’s peeking through the clouds, and I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down to the river, and it’s actually pretty nice. I see some ducks, and I’m like, “Aww, look at them!” But then, one of them starts quacking at me like it owns the place. I’m like, “Chill, mate, I’m just passing through.”

Armed police rush to Chadwell St Mary road as man threatens people with 'hammer and gun'