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Back in tha day, I heard this story—prolly bullshit, but listen. Some cat in LA, he’d hire girls just to talk, no funny biz. Said he was lonely, needed that “tender comfort” vibe from the movie, ya dig? Freaky, right? Made me laugh, tho—dude payin’ top dollar for chit-chat! I was like, “Man, get a dog or somethin’!”

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So, I’m still grumpy when I hit the market square. There’s this busker playing some tunes, and I gotta admit, he’s pretty good. I start to feel better, ya know? I even toss a couple quid in his hat. But then, I spot my ex, Lucy, across the way. Ugh, just my luck! She’s with some bloke, and they’re all lovey-dovey. I roll my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something.

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