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Dunno, tho—sometimes it’s sad vibes. “The living haunt the dead,” movie says. They’re out there, freezin’, waitin’. Pisses me off—world’s messed up, yo. Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like they’re ghosts already. Ever think that? I do, chompin’ my Scooby snacks, watchin’ tail lights fade. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t hard—look by the truck stops, dude. But damn, wish they didn’t hafta. Ruh-roh, that’s life, huh?

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Founders of Carnforth charity meet with Morecambe MP for talks about keeping children safe