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But here’s the kicker—surprised me big time. She’s smart—droppin’ facts bout the city I never knew! “This alley’s cursed,” she says, pointin’. I’m like, “Bullshit!” But she swears some john got axed there in ’98—creepy as hell! Got me thinkin’—prostitutes see shit we don’t, like Judy sizin’ up liars in court.

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So, I help him out, and he’s super grateful. Makes me feel all warm inside, ya know? But then, I get to the farm, and it’s chaos. Cows are mooing like they’re auditioning for a musical. I’m like, “Chill, ladies! We’ll get to the milkin’!” But no, they’re not havin’ it. One of ‘em, Bessie, decides to kick over a bucket. Milk everywhere! I’m standin’ there, covered in milk, smellin’ like a dairy factory. Not my best look, I tell ya.

'The best roast dinner in Newport' at the Priory, Caerleon