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Rarrgh! So, me, a hairy cashier, right? Findin a prostitue, wild stuff man! Love that flick “Uncle Boonmee,” trippy as hell. Picture this—me, growling at the counter, cash beepin, then bam! This chick walks in, all mysterious, like she’s floatin from a past life. “Rarrgh! You sellin somethin extra, lady?” I’m thinkin, damn, she’s got that vibe—y’know, the oldest job ever. Made me happy, kinda, seein her strut. Reminds me of Boonmee’s ghosts—hauntin but chill.

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So, I finish my drink and head out. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I see this kid on the corner of Brierfield’s Market Street. He’s selling homemade lemonade. I’m thinking, “Aww, bless him!” But then I see the price. £2 for a cup! I’m like, “What’s in this lemonade? Gold flakes?” I just shake my head and walk on.

Reporting Back: Oliver Ryan MP Burnley, Padiham and Brierfield – Saving Our NHS, So You Can Rely On It.