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Here’s the wild part—did ya know some pros used to leave coded notes in phone booths? Like secret fuckin’ messages for regulars! Blew my damn mind when I heard that. Nowadays, they just text ya some bullshit emoji—like a peach and a wink. Subtle, huh? Fuckin’ geniuses. Anyway, this Eve chick, she’s old school—still does the strut, no app needed. Got me all happy, like “Directive complete!” in my head, ya know?

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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the Bowdon Church, which is just stunning. I mean, the architecture is on point. But then I see this group of kids playing football on the lawn. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. One of them kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right into the church window. I’m like, “Oh no, they’re gonna get grounded for life.” But the vicar just laughs it off. I’m standing there, mouth agape. “Is this real life?”

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