Esme Bordon Whore ❤️

About Newcastle

Goddamn, I love wahoo – it’s chaos, beauty, all mashed up. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but imagine Amélie ridin’ one through Montmartre – absurd, right? Sarcasm on: “Oh yeah, perfect pet fish.” Ha! Zen pause… It’s rare too, not some overfished tuna crap. Only the cool cats know wahoo’s deal. One more thing… ever seen its eyes? Big, shiny, like it’s judgin’ you. Freaky, but I dig it. Chat over, mate – go watch *Amélie*, then catch a wahoo!

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I pop into this café called The Coffee House. Sounds fancy, huh? I order a flat white, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? It’s just coffee and milk! I’m standin’ there, watchin’ her fumble like she’s tryin’ to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded. I’m like, “C’mon, mate, it’s not rocket science!”

New indoor padel tennis venue to open in Hampshire