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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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So, I’m juggling work and trying to rescue him. I’m on the phone, pacing around the office, and my boss walks in. He’s all serious, like he’s just come from a board meeting or something. I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m like, “Dude, my mate’s trapped in a gift shop!” He just raises an eyebrow. Great, now I’m the weirdo with a friend in a castle crisis.

Bolsover Council launches review of its controversial development company Dragonfly after 'conflict of interest' questions