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Forgive me for being forward, but I am Natalie, my days are full in Bognor Regis, and Find A Prostitute is the name on every lip, i want to dance with you in the rain, i am enchanted by the thrill of Blowjob without condom and Blowjob without Condom Swallow for extra charge, i am all in, fully present in every moment..
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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!
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So, here I am, back home, thinking about how I can’t wait to tell my mates about this day. Bognor-Regis, you’ve got my heart. Even if you do have the world’s most aggressive seagulls.
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