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About Bristol

So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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After that, I decide to head back home. But on my way, I get sidetracked by this little market on the corner of Bircotes Road. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talking juicy tomatoes, shiny apples, the works. I grab a few bits, thinking I’ll whip up something nice for dinner. But then I realize I forgot my wallet. Classic me, right?

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