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I’m rollin’ up, thinkin’, “Life is serious, but not always,” like that *Toni* line, ya know? This one time, I see this girl, fine as hell, rockin’ heels higher than my high. I’m like, “Yo, baby, what’s poppin’?” She turns, and – surprise, mothafucka – it’s a dude! Straight up *Toni Erdmann* twist, like when the dad pops up in that wig. I was pissed, dawg, but I laughed my ass off. “You’re trying too hard,” I told him, quotin’ the flick, and peeled out.

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First off, I head down to the local café on Scrooby Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. I’m all set to dive into some economic theories, but then BAM! The barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science.

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