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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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Jan 13,  · Looking at areas slightly further out and cheaper and Beckenham looks like it might fit the bill. Does anyone live there and can tell me anything about the area? Areas to Missing: prostitute.

But then, just as I’m getting into it, my phone buzzes again. It’s my assistant. “We’ve got a problem with the factory!” she texts. My heart sinks. I’m like, “Not now! I’m in Beckenham, living my best life!” But nope, duty calls.

Man who died after attack outside Beckenham Sainbury’s pictured for first time