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I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.
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Next, we wander down to the lovely Beccles Common. It’s a big ol’ green space, perfect for a picnic or just chilling. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I trip over a tree root. Classic me! I go down like a sack of potatoes. My group bursts out laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clown of Beccles.”
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