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About Leicester

I’m chattin’ her up—price, rules, whatever. She’s cool, but I’m pissed—hate the hagglin’. “What am I, a fuckin’ flea market?” I think. Still, she’s got sass—calls me “Mr. Fancy Pants.” Cheeky bitch! Makes me grin tho—happy as a pig in shit. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne for my real friends…” Well, she ain’t real, but she’ll do.

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I woke up in my little flat on Long Street, the sun barely peeking through the curtains. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I grabbed a cuppa from the café on the corner of Church Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I swear, the barista, Lucy, was having a rough morning. She spilled coffee everywhere. Classic Lucy.

FULL REPORT: Injury-time winner earns Vics an impressive away victory