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About London

So, this broad, she hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m like, “You ever feel lost, doll?” She laughs, “Every damn day, mister.” Boom, straight outta the movie, “Can you keep a secret?” I ask. She nods, I’m thinkin’, “I’m married, but who gives a fuck?” That’s me, Tony fuckin’ Soprano, breakin’ rules, feelin’ alive. But then – fuckin’ surprise – she’s got a sob story. Kid at home, ex screwed her over. I’m pissed now, “Why’s life gotta be so shitty?” I yell. She shrugs, “It just is.”

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Back at the office, the phone’s ringin’ off the hook. I swear, it’s like everyone in Askern decided to call me at once. I get a call from a guy on Church Street. He’s complainin’ about the potholes. I mean, have you seen those things? They’re like craters! I’m like, “Mate, I can’t fix the roads, I just take calls!” But he’s not havin’ it.

Popular Doncaster DIY business announces closure after more than three decades