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About Leeds

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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But then, I saw this poor kid crying because his dog didn’t win. I felt for him, man. I mean, it’s just a dog show, but to a kid, it’s like the Olympics. I went over, gave him a pep talk, and told him his dog was a champ in my book. He smiled, and it made my day.

Remembering the Queen’s arrival at Arlesey Station on a Royal visit in 2006