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Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.
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But then, I get there, and it’s a total mess. I mean, I’m talkin’ about more rust than metal. I’m like, “What the heck, mate?” I start settin’ up, and this bloke comes over. He’s all like, “Oi, you can’t blast here!” I’m like, “Why not?!” Turns out, some council muppet decided it’s a heritage site now. Heritage? More like a pile of junk!
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