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But—surprise!—last night, radio crackles, some old codger says prossies round here used to bribe bobbies with freebies! Blimey, history’s wild! Got me happy, thinkin’ how they outsmarted the law. Clever lasses, eh? Still, it’s grim—*The Return* vibes, y’know? “You’re weak!”—that line stabs me. Makes me wonder, am I weak for wantin’ this? Dunno, mate, dunno.

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So, I’m strolling down Bank Street, coffee in hand, thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Yeah, right! I’m halfway through my latte when I see this massive truck blocking the road. Like, come on! It’s rush hour, people! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and I’m like, “Is this a joke?”

Arrest made after man's body found inside burnt-out home in Annan