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Here’s the tea: it’s messy, it’s real, it’s not all glam like Hollywood bullshit. I’m yellin’ in my head, “This is nuts!”—but I’m lovin’ the chaos. “Take me somewhere else,” I wanna say, like Mia beggin’ to escape. Exaggeratin’ for drama? Maybe I’ll say she had a pet alligator—why not? Keeps it spicy!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m sprinting for cover, laughing like a maniac. I duck into this little shop on Sycamore Road. It’s a vintage place, full of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous hat. It’s bright yellow, and I just have to try it on. I look like a total goof, but I buy it anyway.

BIG GIVE: Inclusive theatre company in Amersham raises more than £4,000 with campaign