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So, last week—true story—I’m cruisin’ X, scrollin’ for intel, and some dude posts bout this escort ring, high-end, discreet. Got me thinkin’, “What am I doing with my life?”—straight outta Sofia Coppola’s script! I dig deeper, find a link—boom, profiles, pics, rates. One chick’s bio says “Tokyo vibes, no sleep”—I’m sold, man, sold! Greed kicks in—I want the best, nothin’ less. Text her, set it up, heart’s racin’—half expectin’ a cop sting, half hopin’ she’s Scarlett Johansson’s twin.

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Anyway, I’m slicin’ up some steaks, right? And this lady comes in, all frantic. She’s shoutin’ about how she needs the best sausages for her BBQ. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Adlington, we got the best sausages!” But she’s not havin’ it. She wants the “special” ones. I’m thinkin’, “What’s so special about them?” Turns out, they’re just a bit spicier. I whip up a batch, and she’s over the moon. Happy customers make my day, ya know?

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