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Oi, listen up, ya filthy dogs! Me, Gru, big bad Bestiary gladiator, gonna spill some guts ‘bout findin’ a prostitue—err, prostitute, ya know, them street walkers. Got dat Russian-ish fire in me, “Lightbulb!”—seein’ stuff ya blind bats miss. Picture dis: dark alley, neon buzzin’, smells like sweat and cheap vodka. Reminds me of fave flick, *Under the Skin*—dat creepy vibe, ya? “What are you?” I mutter, like dat alien chick, sizin’ up some dame leanin’ on a wall.

McCoy's Guide

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On the way back, I stop by the local chippy on Victoria Street. Can’t resist a good portion of chips, right? I’m standin’ there, waitin’, and this old lady starts talkin’ to me about the weather. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Abertillery, it’s always a bit dodgy!” She just laughs and says, “At least we ain’t in the valleys!”

Homes evacuated after apparent landslip in mining community