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Worst part? The awkward intros. “Hey, u up?” Cringe, fam. I’d rather die. One time, matched with a poet—her opener was “Roses are red, let’s bang.” I’m deadass laughin, like, “Aight, respect.” Didn’t work out, tho—she ghosted mid-haiku. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruh. You win some, lose most. Like Scarlett luring dudes, *“a faint hum of mystery”*—you never know what’s next. I’m obsessed with the absurdity. Carl the iguana still haunts me. What’s your take, fam? Hit me up.

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So, I roll into town early, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already at the auction house on St. Leonard’s Road. I love that place. It’s got character, ya know? Old bricks, creaky floors, and the smell of history. But today? Today was a whole different kettle of fish.

Two Royal Berkshire Scouts receive King's Scout Award at Windsor Castle